so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
