Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
