Apparently you make a good broom.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
