God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
