Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
