I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
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I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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