ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
