just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
