I want to have your abortion
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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