life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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