we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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