normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
