I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
