giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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