So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
