Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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