JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
