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• (925): View more from California

  It smells like ranch

  (925): View more from California

  Must be all the white people

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...

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• (772): View more from Florida

  She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.

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• (315): View more from New York

  He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...

  (1-315): View more from New York

  Hahah. That's good.

  (315): View more from New York

  I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  Good point.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Hey what are you up to?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.

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• (936): View more from Texas

  So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.

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