So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
