after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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