Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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