i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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