her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
the day after is always just damage control
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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