I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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