hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize