I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
