I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
