I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
