Ambien. No doubt about it.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
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Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
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Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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