I puked a lego.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize