dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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