Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
