I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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