Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
