Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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