Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
