I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize