So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Everyone says I win the strip club
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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