it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
