His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
