I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize