Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
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I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
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I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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