i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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