How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize