yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
