i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
