Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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