remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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