first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
