I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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