My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
