I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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