apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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