Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
