Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
