I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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