Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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