I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
my mouth tastes like poor choices
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize