He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
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I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
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Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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