What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
