Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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