I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
