Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I want a musical about memes.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
