dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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