is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
