Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
