i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
